Chapter 16 of the book:
The Failure of the Great Amish and Conservative Mennonite Dress Experiment
Why Christian Conservatism Isn’t the Answer and What to Do
The Great Amish and Conservative Mennonite Dress Experiment was a foolish experiment trying to prevent adultery, lust, and preventing disobedience to God’s commands. It focused on strict dress regulations to help prevent men from looking on women to lust after them. It has been a failure because it was disobedience to Christ’s commands, as we discussed previously, and because it stood in the way of God’s methods of preventing adultery and lust, which we will look at next. This chapter should not be viewed as a complete discussion of the topic, but rather an introduction of some important things.
Are you looking for something more than just the same old concepts, interpretations, explanations, and perspectives you have heard regurgitated over and over again? This website will give you some new insights and things to think about. You may not agree with everything you read, but Biblical Research Reports will stimulate your thinking. Our goal is to help you to formulate in your own mind what is Jesus’ truth as you look at the research we share on the various subjects facing the Church.
Walk in the Spirit to prevent lust and sexual sins
God tells us that we need to walk (live our lives) in the Spirit to prevent lust and sexual sins. “This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.” (Galatians 5:16) It is the power of God that enables us to resist temptation, and it is the power of God that we need to rely on, not church rules or other people.
The Amish and conservative Mennonite denominations have historically downplayed a Christian being filled with the Holy Spirit and exhibiting the power of the Holy Spirit in their lives. In place of the Holy Spirit’s power in a believer’s life has been a focus on human effort and outside controls of church discipline, rules, fear, and accountability. That is a faulty way of trying to live a Godly life. It will not work.
The Holy Spirit needs to live in the heart of every believer and give him or her the power and direction from within to live the Christian life. It is the power of the Holy Spirit, not our own effort, that makes us born again and gives us the ability to follow Christ and not fall back into sin.
God further confirms that to prevent adultery and lust we need to follow the Holy Spirit and live in His power in the following verses:
“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.” (Galatians 6:7-8)
“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” (Romans 8:1)
- Following manmade church rules is living after the flesh. It is trying to achieve righteousness through our own efforts and will not work. We need to live our lives in the power of the Holy Spirit.
“That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.” (Romans 8:4-6)
- Righteousness is obtained, not by following church rules or accountability, but by the power of the Holy Spirit. Victory over pornography, adultery, sexual abuse, etc. needs to be found through the power of the Holy Spirit. Any other method is just whitewashing a person’s life to make it look Godly. You can only become spiritually minded by the power of God’s Spirit—it is not something that you can do by human effort, such as exercising “spiritual disciplines”.
“For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.” (Romans 8:13)
- Sin needs to be put to death in our lives through the power of the Holy Spirit. “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds; Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;” (2 Corinthians 10:4-5)
“The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light. Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying. But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof. (Romans 13:12-14)
A Loving Sexual Relationship in the Marriage to Help Prevent Lust and Adultery
God tells us that another important thing to help prevent lust and sexual immorality is for there to be a loving sexual relationship in the marriage. I want to be clear that this is not a “blame the women” guilt trip about how they need to give their husbands all the sex they want so that the husband doesn’t abuse their children. It is about the husband loving the wife and the wife the husband. It is my belief that for many married persons who are sexual predators, they are missing out on real sexual fulfillment because there is not the mutual sexual oneness and fulfillment with their spouse. A big part of their problem is that they do not really know how to show love to their spouse in the sexual relationship. The actions of a sexual molester indicate that their focus is on getting “it” for themselves and for their own pleasure.
God tells us: “Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” (1 Corinthians 7:1-5)
The Mennonite cape dress design worn by many conservative Mennonite women to prevent lust, restricts the husband from access to his wife’s body. This is the opposite of what God says in Proverbs 5:19-20: “Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?” Making a wife cover her front with multiple layers prevents her from satisfying her husband “at all times”. The design of many cape dresses effectively locks the husband out. The regulation cape dress is a requirement to the wife to withhold her body from her husband during the day. God has designed marriage so that sexual fulfillment in marriage helps prevent the desire for sexual fulfillment outside of marriage.
The focus of modesty to prevent lust in the Great Dress Experiment made the wives less sexually attractive to their husbands and is an encouragement not to act sexy toward their husband. When a man is not attracted to or satisfied sexually with his wife, it increases the temptation to look or go elsewhere. When the church puts up a man made fence and keeps the sheep in a smaller pasture than what God has intended, the grass gets eaten to the ground because there is not enough grass for the sheep. A focus on modesty does not prevent lust. The sheep get bored and hungry and start looking outside the fence because the grass is “greener on the other side of the fence”.
In addition, the underlying, implied message of the modesty doctrine, as well as courtship teaching and some teachings on “purity”, is that sex is dirty. Modesty doctrine tells women that their bodies are shameful; that they are walking temptations who must cover themselves so they don’t accidentally seduce men. The unspoken message to both men and women is that sexual drives and desires are bad; that sexual thoughts are dirty, even if the person is not thinking about immorality.
In his book Courtship in Crisis, Thomas Umstadd writes:
“…purity culture tells us that both sex and sexual attraction are evil. The entire focus is wrong. If having sex within marriage is a biblically ordained and God-honoring act, then how can longing for it be wrong?…
“The lie that sex is evil fills young people with guilt, shame, and fear. It destroys something that God created to be beautiful. It can also create challenges for couples once they get married.
“One woman, Lindsay, said, ‘The morning after my wedding, I found myself sobbing in the shower, scrubbing myself raw because I felt so unclean, so dirty. I had allowed myself to become so entrenched in staying pure that when I finally lost that purity—in the exact way that God had intended—I felt as if I had committed my greatest sin.’
“’It took me years of counseling to be able to enjoy sex with my husband,’ she said. ‘Not because I didn’t love him or because I wasn’t attracted to him, but because I carried so closely to my heart the shame and guilt I associated with sex.’
“Once someone is convinced that sex is evil, how can he or she enjoy having it? An hour-long marriage ceremony cannot undo a lifetime of trying not to think about the dumpster.”(Umstadd, Thomas. Courtship in Crisis. Austin, TX: Stone Castle Publishers, p. 79-80 2015)
The goal of a loving husband in the sexual relationship should be to help his wife to have a sexual climax each time just like he does. When the man repeatedly fulfills himself sexually and doesn’t help his wife to have a sexual climax as well, she does not feel his love and can feel used, taken advantage of, or even raped. Certain forms of sexual activity such as masturbation, oral sex, or anal sex tend to be focused on self gratification as opposed to a loving focus on helping the wife have a sexual climax also. There are conservative women who have been married for years, had children, and never experienced a sexual climax. That is wrong. It shows the ignorance of the man and a lack of love for his wife. They are both missing out on something special. The ultimate in the sexual relationship is when the husband and wife can both climax together.
With sexual abuse, pornography, and a repeated one sided experience of sexual climax in a marriage, the focus of the person is on gratifying themselves and fulfilling their own lusts. It is not love. It is not true love for the other person. They are thinking of themselves. At the same time they are shorting themselves because they are not experiencing the most fulfilling, ultimate, and loving, sexual relationship.
Part of God’s method to help prevent lust and adultry is for the husband to give his wife true love and benevolence, and the wife to the husband. The wife is not to hold power over her own body from her husband and the husband is not to hold power over his own body from his wife. Neither is the church to have power over the wife’s body. In 1 Corinthians 11:3 God tells us: “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” The church has no authority over a man’s wife in telling her how to dress, only the husband and Christ. It is important that the church stays out of a couple’s marriage and not make modesty dress regulations to prevent lust and adultery. It is important that the church lets the husband and wife submit to the needs of each other as they need to. Churches need to allow the husband to have his God-given responsibly to protect his wife and daughters from the sexual advances of others as God has directed him. They must not usurp the husband’s authority. This is part of God’s method to prevent lust and sexual immorality.
How Should a Woman Dress Now That We Know About All the Sexual Abuse in the Church?
It is important that Christian women are free to make changes to their clothing styles as styles change in society around them. It is also important that their congregation does not put rules and regulations on them that the Bible does not state. There is no safety or wisdom in adding dress standards to the Word of God.
One of the things that God has made clear in the failure of the Great Amish and Conservative Mennonite Dress Experiment and the “modest” dress standards of other conservative groups is that modest clothing does nothing to prevent a man from lusting after a woman or girl and sexually assaulting her. In fact, the modesty doctrine actually backfires by making things overly sexually attractive to the conservative man that to most men in society today are not immodest or sexy because he is not used to seeing it in his home and church circles and has been taught it as wrong for the woman to dress that way. The conservative thought has created a warped perspective of what is right and wrong in woman’s clothing. If a person has been taught the conservative mindset concerning appropriate dress, that perspective has to be unlearned so that God’s perspective can be fully understood.
In looking at what is appropriate and not appropriate for a Christian woman to wear, it is helpful to understand what pornography is. Conservatives tend to have or imply a distorted perspective that confuses pornography or solicitation with what they term “immodesty”. Many give the impression that if a woman dresses in a way that they determine is immodest (such as having the arm exposed above the elbow or the leg exposed at the knee or above); – and a man sees her, it is almost the same as him looking at pornography because he will lust after her. This is a wrong perspective.
From Wikipedia: “Pornography (often abbreviated as “porn” in informal usage) is the explicit portrayal of sexual subject matter for the purpose of sexual gratification…pornography involves the depiction of acts in a sensational manner, with the entire focus on the physical act, so as to arouse quick intense reactions… Softcore pornography can generally be described as focusing on nude modeling and suggestive, but not explicit, simulations of sexual intercourse.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poronography
Pornography is something different than just having “too much” skin showing on the arm or leg. It is the exposure of a woman’s body along with the suggestive way she models her body with the intent to arouse men sexually. The same is true of a prostitute. How she is dressed is part of her seduction, but there is more.
In Proverbs 7:10 God describes some characteristics of a prostitute. She has the intent to seduce a man sexually, and says and does things to seduce them. “And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtle of heart.”
- The prostitute goes where she can find men to seduce, and men can find her.
- She dresses like a prostitute. She is dressed to sexually entice men.
- She has an agenda. She wants to sexually seduce men. “With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him.” (Proverbs 7:21)
Conservatives tend to focus only on how a woman is dressed and imply that how she is dressed will cause a man to lust after her. While that may be the case, there is more to prostitution than just seductive dress. Two women can be dressed in the same length shorts. The one can have the appearance of being flirty and sexually available and the other woman portrays none of that and may be sexually unattractive. Two young women can both be wearing cape dresses. The one can have the appearance of being flirty and sexually available, and the other one be reserved and not sexually available or attractive. What one wears does not necessarily prevent lust.
It is wrong for a Christian woman to dress and act in a way to try to seduce men to commit adultery with her, whether it is physical adultery or mental adultery such as pornography or live modeling/actions and talk.
God gives us some general guidelines about how a woman should dress, but He does not specify details such as how much of the leg or arm can be exposed or how much of the body has to be covered.
God tells us this in 1 Timothy 2:9-15: “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.”
Conservatives have misinterpreted this passage and the word “modest” in order to force their strict church dress regulations on their women to prevent lust. It is repeated so often that people believe it to be true. Every time that they read the passage they interpret it the way they have been taught. However, the Greek word translated “modest” does not have the meaning that conservatives have given to it.
Modest – kosmios (Strong’s #2887): “orderly, that is, decorous: – of good behaviour, modest.” (Strong’s Greek Dictionary)
Shamefacedness – aidos (Strong’s #127):“bashfulness, that is, (towards men), modesty or (towards God) awe: – reverence, shamefacedness.” (Strong’s Greek Dictionary)
Sobriety –sophrosune (Strong’s #4997): “soundness of mind, that is, (literally) sanity or (figuratively) self control: – soberness, sobriety.” (Strong’s Greek Dictionary)
Modest –(English definition) “1. Properly, restrained by a sense of propriety; hence, not forward or bold; not presumptuous or arrogant; not boastful; as a modest youth; a modest man. 2. Not bold or forward; as a modest maid. The word may be thus used without reference to chastity. The blushing beauties of a modest maid. 3. Not loose; not lewd. 4. Moderate; not excessive or extreme; not extravagant; as a modest request; modest joy; a modest computation.” (Webster’s 1828 Dictionary. This dictionary was chosen because it was written closer to the time of the King James Version language and to Strong’s Dictionary.)
The Greek word translated “modest” actually means orderly, proper, and attractive. It does not have the meaning of “covering up the body” to prevent lust and sexual sins that conservatives have been giving to it. When we take this passage along with what Jesus said in Mark 12:38-40 “Beware of the scribes, which love to go in long clothing… these shall receive greater damnation”, we have some general guidelines.
A Christian woman needs to dress according to what is proper for the situation that she is in at the time. What is appropriate for swimming is not appropriate to wear shopping. What is appropriate to wear shopping may not be appropriate to wear to a wedding. She should not dress in religious distinctive clothing that is different from the way the rest of society dresses or that does not fit the occasion. The clothing should be attractive and proper, but not expensive, and should not portray an immoral lifestyle. Because God does not require certain dress styles, He is allowing a Christian woman’s dress to vary according to the culture or country in which she lives and what is viewed in society as appropriate.
What is just as important as what a woman wears is how she conducts herself around others. The word “shamefacedness” and “sobriety” addresses the way she comes across to others, especially to men.
God gives more direction about how a woman should dress in 1 Peter 3:3-6: “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”
Here God directs women to put more of a focus on adorning themselves from the inside out, rather than just focusing on their exterior appearance. God wants Christian women to develop a sweet, loving spirit toward those around her. A genuine smile is much more attractive than a face that looks like it may be harboring pain and hurts.
A woman needs to follow her husband’s leadership on what she wears, not be in subjection to the church in dress standards. At the same time, a woman should not make the mistake of setting her own “Godly” dress standards that are against her husband’s will. I have seen a number of cases where the wife adopted conservative and modesty dress standards that her husband was not in agreement with, and it created problems in their relationship. That is not being in submission to her husband. “The holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands” (v.5)
Fear and alarm in following her husband are not Godly characteristics of a woman who is submissive to her husband’s leadership. It will not make her beautiful to her husband. The temptation to fear and react with alarm may be the inner response of some women as their family leaves the conservative dress experiment. Just remember what God says: “As long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” (v.6)
It’s important to realize that in both of these passages, God’s focus is not on the do’s and don’ts of dress, but rather a woman’s inner person and having a helpful spirit toward others. In 1 Timothy 2, God tells us that a woman should focus on adorning herself with good works more than on what she wears. In 1 Peter 3, He tells us that a woman’s actions should reflect a meek and quiet spirit, rather than a spirit of vanity and/or fear. Interestingly enough, when we focus on “modest dress” or “plain dress”, we end up doing exactly the opposite: focusing on outward appearance rather than the inner person.
In 1 Corinthians 11, God instructs a Christian woman to cover her head when she prays or prophesies. Modern Bible translations such as the NIV have rewritten the passage and deleted words and added the words of men to make it say something different. Preachers and Bible teachers have also explained away the command to cover the head as being unnecessary. The Dress Experiment has also caused a lot of confusion and reaction to the passage by making the head covering itself a religious symbol and strictly regulating the style of what covers the head. The point of the instruction in 1 Corinthians 11 is the woman’s head being covered when she prays or prophesies. The focus is not the headcovering itself.
Amish and Conservative Mennonites apply two different headcovering standards to the men and the women. God does not require women to cover their head all the time, only when praying or prophesying. The Dress Experiment goes a step further than what God states and requires them to cover their head the entire day. They are prohibited from being in public without their covering on. The men on the other hand do not have to have their heads uncovered all the time. They can wear a hat in public or take it off. Some groups even require the men to wear a certain style hat in public, especially when they are outside.
Just as the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath, so covering the head when praying or prophesying is for the woman’s benefit. The woman was not made so she would have to wear a head covering all the time. When a Christian woman covers her head to pray, she should be covering her head because she desires to follow what God has instructed, not because she has to follow church rules.
There are many socially accepted head dress styles for women that are not religious in nature such as hats and head bands at make acceptable headcoverings. A woman covering her head during worship or prayer does not need to be with a headcovering style borrowed from the past.
A number of conservative groups who are not Amish and Mennonite, such as some Baptist and Fundamentalist groups have made the mistake of going to the Old Testament law as basis to require dresses for the girls and women and ignore the command that God has given in the New Testament (I Corinthians 11) as a distinction of the sexes. God however, has not forbidden women to wear pants or shorts.
To Wrap up on How to Prevent Lust and Adultery
People need to be taught to follow Christ and His commands rather than church rules and regulations. Men need to learn to hear the Holy Spirit speak to them and receive the direction for their lives and their families from Him. People need to learn the “Fear of the Lord”, not be taught the fear of man. Man’s methods, rules, regulations, and conservative focus will always be a failure in the long run, of which the Great Amish and Conservative Mennonite Dress Experiment is a powerful example.
The conservative dress experiment has wrongly placed great emphasis, just like the Pharisees, on the outside adornment to prevent lust and adultery. This is exactly the opposite of what God commanded. God commands women to adorn themselves on the inside, so that the outside will take care of itself. “Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.” (Matthew 23:26)
Why Biblical Research Reports uses the KJV
When I started in-depth Bible research, I was using the NIV translation. I was not prepared for the deception and misguiding information that I found coming from Christian scholars. I did extensive research into Bible translations and into the Greek manuscripts themselves that the various versions are translated from.
I soon realized that the most significant subject facing the Church today is the Bible, what version is used and preached from, the Greek text it is translated from, and the way it is translated. Every Christian doctrine is based on the Bible. The way the Bible reads, the words that it has and the words that it does not have, the way the Greek words are translated or poorly translated, all affect the beliefs and teachings of the Church. At one point I thought that most translations of the Bible were basically the same except for the modernization of the old English in the KJV. This is not the case. Most of the modern translations do not have everything that the KJV does, as a result of changes in the Greek texts from which they are translated. In addition, significant changes have to be made in each new Bible version in order to copyright it. As a result of that research, I switched to the KJV. To read more about my Bible translation research check out these Research Reports:
Evidence the NIV is Not the Best Bible Translation
Evidence the NIV is not the best Bible translation (Condensed)
What is the Best Bible Translation?
I highly recommend the powerful, Free E-Sword Bible program for your computer, cell phone or other mobile device. Make sure you also download the free Treasury of Scripture Knowledge – cross references for each Bible verse to other verses on the same subject. For a cross reference database that is much larger and more complete consider purchasing The Ultimate Cross-Reference Treasury (in the dictionary category).