What Should I Wear?
"What should I wear today?" Have you asked yourself that question while getting dressed? After some thought, I'm sure you picked out a couple items of clothing, put them on and entered the day without giving it another thought. Unless, of course, you later realized that you'd grabbed the wrong thing.
However, we need to ask, "What should I wear?", not as a matter of picking garments out of a wardrobe, but as a matter of what we have in the wardrobe in the first place. You see, the Bible has something to say about the way we dress. Let's look at what it says, going through the Bible from beginning to end.
The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.
Now, I know some people would say this passage doesn't apply to us. However, God said it is an abomination. That means He hates it. God does not change.
One part of the verse says that God hates a man who wears a woman's garment. So, no dresses for men in America, because that is a woman's garment. We don't seem to have too much trouble with that.
But check out the other part-"The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth to a man." Now, that means more than a woman wearing men's pants. The word "pertain" means "to belong or be connected with as a possession; to have to do with; be related; refer; to be appropriate", according to the World Book Dictionary. Women's pants are related to men's pants. Men wore pants for hundreds of years before women did. Women didn't wear pants until the "women's suffrage" movement came along (and later "women's lib"), demanding equality with men. At first, women wore men's pants. Then they developed "ladies' slacks" and women had their own style of pants. But, no matter what part of the store you buy them from, pants "pertain", or are modeled after, men's clothing. Therefore, women who wear pants are an abomination to God. That's what God says.
"[Deuteronomy 22:5] is, however, a very good general precept understood literally, and applies particularly to those countries where the dress alone distinguishes between the male and the female. The close-shaved gentleman may at any time appear like a woman in the female dress, and the woman appear as a man in the male's attire. Were this to be tolerated in society, it would produce the greatest confusion." Adam Clarke, 1700's.1 (emphasis mine)
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
So if a man looks at a woman and desires to have sexual relations with her, Jesus says that man is guilty of mental adultery. In fact, He said that men who can't control their lust should pluck out an eye or cut off a hand so that they don't keep on lusting and go to Hell for doing so. Keep this is mind for later.
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoreth his head. But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoreth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven. For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.
There has been much debate on this passage, but I will just sum it up in a nutshell for now. We find that "every man" praying or prophesying (speaking under the inspiration of God) with his head covered dishonors his head. Every woman, however, who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head.
This is for more than just the church service. Women are to remain silent in the worship service (see 1 Corinthians 14:34-35). So obviously, women should cover their heads anytime they pray or prophesy. And God commands, "Pray without ceasing." (1 Thessalonians 5:17) That would seem to indicate that the woman is to be covered throughout the day. (I wrote much more about the veiling in "Is the Headcovering for Today?".)
In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array. But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
We see here, first of all, that women must wear modest apparel. The word "modest", according to Webster's 1812 Dictionary, means:
1. Properly, restrained by a sense of propriety; hence, not forward or bold; not presumptuous or arrogant; not boastful; as a modest youth; a modest man.
2. Not bold or forward; as a modest maid. The word may be thus used without reference to chastity.
3. Not loose; not lewd.
4. Moderate; not excessive or extreme; not extravagant; as a modest request; modest joy; a modest computation.
So we see that women's clothing should not be bold or forward or promote lewd thoughts. It should be "restrained by a sense of propriety" and cover the woman, not show off her body to men. Why do women wear tank, string, strapless or low necked tops? They often do so to show off their bodies. That is blatant disobedience to this command.
I realize that some women are not purposely wearing immodest clothing. However, they have a duty to keep men from lusting after them. Yes, men need to keep their thoughts pure, no matter how women dress, but any woman who "loves her neighbor as herself" will do what she can to keep him from sinning.
I would submit that since it is adultery for a man to lust after a woman, any woman who wears revealing or suggestive attire is a mental prostitute, whether she intends it or not. A prostitute seduces men to commit physical adultery with her. A mental prostitute seduces men to commit mental adultery with her. As Matthew Henry said, "And if looking be lust, they who dress and deck, and expose themselves, with design to be looked at and lusted after (like Jezebel, that painted her face and tired her head, and looked out at the window) are no less guilty. Men sin, but devils tempt to sin."2
So what is modest? Let me give some general guidelines.
Modest clothing:
- Does not show off the body.
- Fits loosely.
- Covers the body well.
- Does not have lines, holes, slits, low necklines, etc. that say "look here!" or "just imagine what's inside!"
- Does not draw attention to itself or the woman's body.
Immodest clothing styles include:
- Tank tops.
- String tops, spaghetti straps, and strapless tops.
- Sleeveless blouses or dresses.
- Form-fitting T-shirts or blouses.
- Anything with a low/plunging neckline.
- Form-fitting skirts and pants.
- Pants.
- Shorts and above-the-knee skirts-the shorter they are, the worse they are.
- Skirts with slits.
- Too thin, semi-transparent clothing.
- Clothing advertised as "sexy."
Remember, these are general guidelines. However, clothing that violates the "modesty" guidelines generally tempts men's eyes.
Here's one more reason not to wear pants: "women's pants" fit tighter than men's pants. Women's pants accent the hips more than men's pants. That alone is a good reason for women not to wear pants.
What about swimsuits? Both common types of swimsuits (one- and two-piece) are immodest. There are some modest swimsuit options, but I have not evaluated any and hence can make no recommendations. Mixed swimming is best avoided. Remember, clothes can float up and expose what they should cover. Water will also cause clothing to cling to the body. It's best for men to avoid public swimming areas altogether during the summer months when others are there to swim.
So, having covered "modest apparel," we come to the next requirement: "with shamefacedness and sobriety." Strong's defines "shamefacedness" as "bashfulness, that is, (towards men), modesty or (towards God) awe: - reverence, shamefacedness." Sobriety means "soundness of mind, that is, (literally) sanity or (figuratively) self control: - soberness, sobriety."
We see that a Godly woman will have two characteristics: a modest attitude toward men (instead of a flirtatious one) and self-control. She will control her interactions with men to prevent desire on their part and jealousy on her husband's part.
So, now we come to a do-not section of 1 Timothy 2:9. The first thing is "not with braided hair." The Greek word for "braided" means braided hair, period. However, another passage allows some leniency here. More on this later.
Next, we read, "not with...gold." It says "pearls", too. So let's look at them together. I'll make it as plain as the Bible says it: Do not wear gold or pearls. It does not say you must throw your gold away, but it must not adorn you.
What about other types of jewelry? Can you wear a platinum necklace with an emerald? Well, technically, yes. But I believe that God is really saying throughout this passage (and others) that women should adorn themselves inwardly rather than outwardly.
To finish that answer, let's look at the last phrase: "not with... costly array." What is jewelry other than costly array? You know, paying hundreds of dollars for a gold chain with a pretty rock on the end is rather costly, right? But jewelry isn't the only thing. What about expensive jeans? What about high-dollar wedding dresses? What about designer clothes that cost much more than regular clothes just because they have a certain brand name on them?
That brings us to verse 10: "But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works." There are four things that this passage says women should adorn themselves with: modest apparel, shamefacedness, sobriety and good works. What are good works? We have tended to define "good works" as doing deeds of service to others. What if we step out of the box and define them as actions (works) that are good? The standard for this is God's commands, which tell us how to be good. So a woman that professes to be a Godly woman should adorn herself and the Gospel of Christ with good works. This will show that she is indeed different from the world. If it acts like the world, looks like the world and thinks like the world, then stop calling it Christian. But when Christian ladies show the world that Christ has changed them inside and out, they are a witness to the world, even though they might not say anything.
Here we find that the older women should teach the young women "to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Strong's defines "chaste" as "properly clean, that is, (figuratively) innocent, modest, perfect: - chaste, clean, pure."
We see from this that a Godly woman should be chaste and modest. It's impossible to dress immodestly and be chaste and pure at the same time. Mental inchastity is as inexcusable as physical inchastity. There is no reason for a woman to offer herself as a mental prostitute. Immodesty is one way that women have been unchaste who would not have been otherwise.
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
Before we go any farther, we need to look at verse 3 and correct a mistranslation. The verse says, as it is, that women should not adorn themselves with apparel. But if we go to the Greek, we find that the word translated "adorning" at the beginning of the verse actually belongs at the end. The Literal Version gives us this translation:
Likewise, wives, submitting yourselves to your own husbands, that even if any disobey the Word, through the behavior of the wives, without a word they will be won, 2 observing your pure behavior in fear. 3 Of whom let it not be the outward act of braiding of hairs, and of putting gold around, or of clothing, garments of adornment, 4 but the hidden man of the heart, in the incorruptible adornment of the meek and quiet spirit, which is of great value before God. 5 For so once indeed the holy women who were hoping on God adorned themselves, submitting themselves to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord; whose children you became, doing good, and fearing no terror.3
This brings out a whole new dimension to these verses. Verse 2 says that a wife should have "chaste conversation" (i.e. conduct). Then it goes on to specify how to have that chaste conversation.
First of all, we see braids mentioned again. The Greek word here, however, means elaborate braiding, and the context here could indicate braids with gold woven into them. So it seems that God is telling women to not wear fancy hairstyles. He also said in 1 Corinthians 11 that women are to cover their heads. So if you do that, fancy hairstyles become unnecessary.
You've probably gotten flyers in the mail that say, "Help us feed hungry children!", or "Help us send Bibles to these poor Christians", or "Support this ministry". I realized recently that those organizations would have a lot more money if all Christian women in America would quit going to beauty parlors and salons and instead sent the money they saved to those mission organizations. It would be millions of dollars.
We see once again that women should not wear gold. Also, they should not wear worldly garments. This would include clothing fads, worldly fashions, following lots of worldly guidelines for "beauty", and so on. Designer clothes should probably be put in that category as well.
God goes on in verse four to explain how women should be adorned: with a meek and quiet spirit. Notice that this is especially in the case of an unbelieving husband. (However, a meek and quiet spirit is important for all wives.) A meek and quiet spirit is a submissive spirit. God gives Sarah as an example of a woman who had that meek and quiet spirit. He says that she called Abraham "lord" (not "Lord"). Imagine how much it must have taken for Sarah to follow Abraham out of the land of Ur, not knowing where they were going! Yet we have no record of here protesting against Abraham's actions in moving. Now that is a meek and quiet spirit! In fact, God implies that all the holy women submitted to their husbands.
I find it rather interesting how God links modesty and submission here. Perhaps because when women dress like women, it helps them to remember their femininity. Perhaps you have some further insight on that.
Speaking of "daughters of Sarah", let me touch on one more subject: what about makeup? Let me be clear and up front about this: nowhere does God specifically prohibit makeup. However, let's look at what the Bible says about makeup.
First, we see in 2 Kings 9:30 that Jezebel "painted her face, and tired her head" when she heard that Jehu had come to Jezreel. She was watching out a window when Jehu rolled in, and he said, "Throw her out the window!" So she was thrown out and fell to her death. Now why did she dress herself up and paint her face? Perhaps she thought that if she looked beautiful enough, Jehu would spare her life.
The next verse is Jeremiah 4:30.
And when thou art spoiled, what wilt thou do? Though thou clothest thyself with crimson, though thou deckest thee with ornaments of gold, though thou rentest thy face with painting, in vain shalt thou make thyself fair; thy lovers will despise thee, they will seek thy life.
Here God calls painting the face "renting" (i.e. "rending') the face. And He says, "In vain shalt thou make thyself fair."
The third verse sounds much like the first one.
And furthermore, that ye have sent for men to come from far, unto whom a messenger was sent; and, lo, they came: for whom thou didst wash thyself, paintedst thy eyes, and deckedst thyself with ornaments. (Ezekiel 23:40)
Here we find an adulteress painting her eyes. Not a very good connotation!
So what does all this have to do with "daughters of Sarah"? Well, as one preacher pointed out, if acting like Sarah makes you a daughter of Sarah, then wouldn't acting like Jezebel make you a daughter of Jezebel? I am not stating this as a hard-and-fast rule. But I submit that we have no example of a Godly woman wearing makeup. Rather, we only have the example of sinful women wearing makeup. And what is the purpose of makeup? Is it not to adorn the outside, in the same way as gold, hair styling, fancy clothing and jewelry?
I know this article leans heavily towards women and says little about men. That's because the Bible says little about men's clothing. We saw earlier that men should not wear ladies' clothes. But do the modesty and adornment commands apply to men as well?
Technically, no. With the commands in both 1 Timothy 2:9 and 1 Peter 3:3, God gives another command specifically to men. He specifically addressed the above-mentioned verses to women. However, should men wear gold and jewelry if God said "no" to their wives? Should men wear shorts, which can have the same "look up here" problem as miniskirts? Should they go shirtless while their wives dress modestly? Think about it and pray about it. I believe that indeed it does matter what we men wear. Otherwise, Adam's fig leaf apron would have been sufficient. Check out God's style of clothing: He made Adam a coat of skin. He did not want Adam to go shirtless! It's also interesting that God gave Adam and Eve decent clothes before anybody else occupied the world. Modesty applies at home, as well as in public.
God promised clear judgment upon Israelite women who were being immodest. In Isaiah 3:16-24, we read:
Moreover the LORD saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet: Therefore the Lord will smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the LORD will discover their secret parts. In that day the Lord will take away the bravery of their tinkling ornaments about their feet, and their cauls, and their round tires like the moon, The chains, and the bracelets, and the mufflers, The bonnets, and the ornaments of the legs, and the headbands, and the tablets, and the earrings, The rings, and nose jewels, The changeable suits of apparel, and the mantles, and the wimples, and the crisping pins, The glasses, and the fine linen, and the hoods, and the veils. And it shall come to pass, that instead of sweet smell there shall be stink; and instead of a girdle a rent; and instead of well set hair baldness; and instead of a stomacher a girding of sackcloth; and burning instead of beauty.
These women were adorning themselves and being immodest in their attitudes, if not immodest in their clothing. And aren't immodest attitudes responsible for much of today's immodest clothing? Take these warnings to heart. God will punish purposeful immodesty.
So what are some modest styles of clothing? Here are some suggestions:
These are a good option, if the blouses button up far enough to prevent "peeping holes" when the wearer bends down and if the skirts come well below the knees. Also, the blouses should fit loosely (although not baggy) to prevent accenting the bust, and skirts should not be slit. Make sure that the skirt is thick enough not to let light through or else wear a slip. Otherwise, light coming through a window, door or the like may light up your skirt and show your legs! Blouses also must be thick enough to prevent seeing undergarments.
With a modest blouse, jumpers are a good choice if they have a long enough skirt. Jumpers not only provide an extra layer over the front, they also do not need a waist. In that way, they do not pull tight to the bust line. Watch out for slits.
Dresses make a good choice if they have a long skirt and a modest neckline. The same precautions for skirts and blouses apply to dresses as well.
One type of dress that is common-even required-among some Mennonite groups is called a cape dress. It has an extra piece of fabric over the bodice of the dress. This provides some added covering for the front and is, in some cases, more modest. This design, however, requires that the dress have a waist. For a woman with a short torso, a jumper, which does not require a waist but provides two layers in front, may be more modest. A dress with a waist may accent the bust more on such a woman.
These are a good choice for vigorous activities and activities where you need to straddle something, such as a horse's back or a bicycle. The best ones look almost like a skirt unless you look closely. Culottes that look like "baggy shorts" fail the modesty test, in my opinion. Culottes also do not "fly up" as much as a skirt. However, they do not "pertain to a man"-very few men would want to wear something like that.
The most important thing to remember with modesty is that the heart attitude must be modest before you can be modest. Having the outward without the inward is hypocrisy. This is one reason why the church should not legislate a particular clothing style. You can end up with hypocrites who wear the right thing but are wolves in sheep's clothing.
God has given commands regarding how we dress. These commands are non-optional and are applicable to today. They are necessary for purity in the church today.
The world is looking for Christians who are different from the world. They know that Christians are a "peculiar people" (1 Peter 2:9). We are not to react to the world and be different from the world merely for the purpose of being different. But we must not be afraid to be different.
I encourage you to examine your wardrobe and evaluate your clothes. Are they what God wants you to wear? Or are they what society wants you to wear? If it's immodest, throw it out. Find some clothing that is modest and appropriate for your gender.
As we follow our Maker's plan for living, we can only expect to be better off for eternity. As men dress like men and women dress like women, without each trying to attract the other, the church will also be better off. Our lights to the world (Matthew 5:13) will grow more brilliant.
Footnotes
1Adam Clarke's Commentary on the Bible, Commentary on Deuteronomy 22:5
2Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible, Commentary on 1 Timothy 2:9
3Literal Translation of the Holy Bible, copyright © 1976-2000 by Jay P. Green, Sr. All rights reserved.
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